Bites of Reality

"Life sometimes gets so bogged down in the details, you forget you are living it."  -Jodi Picoult from My Sister's Keeper.  

I was caught off guard by this quote from my reading group's most recent selection. It reminded me of how life feels at times: sometimes you get so caught up in getting the notes right, that you forget to make music. Not exactly going through the motions but losing sight of the proverbial grand scheme of things; the length and breadth of life.  If life is like a motion picture, your favourite music is the sound track of your life.  You can get stuck on one scene where you just can't seem to get the right perspective, and you go over it and over it.

As I am on the eve of remaking a decision I made earlier this spring I realize how close these analogies hit to home

In loving the journey or being on the way somewhere, I have felt a bit lost this past year.  Not really knowing where I am going, or where I am, or if I even want to be where I am. I have always loved the thrill of adventure, and think I miss it. But I realized in the previous post, that I don't look to the horizon like I used to.  I haven't felt eager for adventure, having encountered some valleys.  Struggles that make me re-evaluate my route and traveling companions.

Today I realized that maybe I don't dream as much as I used to. You get bogged down by details that keep life from being lived, music from being made, stuck on replay.  I miss dreaming.  I love to imagine life and all its possibilities!

In the grand scheme of things?  I am incredibly blessed and feel a little self absorbed when I think about the things that get me so down. My family is healthy.  I have not recently lost a child or a spouse. I have great jobs. I do not lack anything materially. I HAVE experienced some intensely personal attacks which have taken a toll on my confidence, if I am honest. The silence on this blog often attests to that. Silence is easier than honesty. 


The answer does not lie inside my head or my heart.  I know I have to lift my eyes to the mountains. -Psalm 121

As I Wander

This past spring I wished I could see what was beyond this horizon.
And so I hopped on the tracks the other day to see what there was to see..

Turns out... it's not always what you might expect. I know that there are forests and a number of small towns down the line but within the first 100 feet there were 2 deer carcasses. They'd been there for a while already.   Yum. 

Isn't life just like that sometimes?

You wish to see what is beyond the horizon, you long, you dream, you imagine....you might even think about abandoning what's right in front of you to head off into the sunset...for something unknown.

While seeing that carnage will not curb my wanderlust, I think I might stick to wooded trails and creek for a while.

Keep Calm and Paddle On

This is the Sydenham River.  It's practically in my backyard.  We can take the canoe out of the garage, walk down the street, and be on the water in about 8 minutes.

It's not glamorous. But we paddle it almost every month,. I LOVE THAT!

Paddling it often means we see it at different times of the year, during different seasons, at different water levels, and in different currents.

This past Sunday it was running high and fast.  When it runs fast, paddling back up stream can be a bit tricky, especially in the turns where you can get swept away. I tend to dig in quick and deep when we are in a spot that needs some strong, fast paddling.   Our canoe is a bit tippy when it's not loaded and when I react too fast I throw it off balance.  Even though it goes against your better judgement in that situation...you have to calm down, stay in the middle of your seat, and calculate your stroke....and trust your paddling partner!!

Isn't life just like that sometimes?

PS - If I paddle by feelings, I will paddle like it's all up to me.
If I paddle by faith, I KNOW I will not be swept away....